he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
