Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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