I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
