so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
