Cold hands, warm shart.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
