So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
