ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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