That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
