I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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