We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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