Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
