your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
