I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize