Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
