I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
