I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
