after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
