Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
