There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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