me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
