You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
