the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
