The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
