it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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