As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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