I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
