I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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