I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
