best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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