the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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