How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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