What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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