i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
