Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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