Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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