ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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