FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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