I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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