i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
