it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My penis needs a shock collar
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
