I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
