i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
