So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
