just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
