Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
