FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
