yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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