If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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