I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
