I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
